Sunday, September 21, 2014


YOU'LL never be royal. 


i've never seen a diamond in the flesh
i cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies
& i'm proud of my address
in a torn-up town no postcard envy

but every songs like gold tooth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room
we don't care we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams 
but everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on ur timepiece 
jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash 
we don't care we aren't caught up in ur love affair 

& we'll never be royals 
it don't run in our blood 
that kind of luxe just ain't 4 us
we crave a different kind of buzz
let me be ur ruler 
u can call me queen bee
& baby i'll rule, let me live that fantasy 

my friends & i we've cracked the code
we count our dollars on the train 2 the party 
& everyone who knows us knows that we're fine w/this 
we didn't come from money 

we're bigger than we ever dreamed 
& i'm in love w/being queen
life is great w/out a care
we aren't caught up in ur love affair 

let me live that fantasy 

(see what i did there?)

LOTS of that applies to OUR queen...except the "queen bee" part (that's some other girl), there's only 1 queen & that's MADONNA bitch...QUEEN M, NOT B. 

oh, & i don't like that song. like, at all. but it fit. the "LOURDES/LORDE" play of words & the "ROYAL/ROYAL BOX/QUEEN" thing. 

Saturday, September 20, 2014


into the mambo groove 

LOU Bega

ladies & gentlemen
this is Madonna no. 5! 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 
everybody in the car, so come on let's ride
to the liquor store around the corner
the boyz say they want some gin & juice
but i really don't wanna 
beer bust, like i had last week
i must stay deep, 'cuz talk is cheap

i like Madge, Maddy, M-Dolla & Dita
& as i continue u know they're getting sticky & sweeter 

so what can i do? i really beg u my lord
2 me flirting is just like a sport
anything fly, it's all good let me dump it 
please send in the trumpet 

a little bit of M-Dolla in my life
a little bit of Esther by my side
a little bit of Evita is all i need
a little bit of Dita is what i see
a little bit of Veronica in the sun
a little bit of Madge all night long
a little bit of MDNA here i am
a little bit of u makes me your man

Madonna no. 5! 

r u ready to jump up & down & move it all around
shake ur head to the sound
put ur hands on the ground
take 1 step left & 1 step right
1 to the front & 1 to the side
clap ur hands once & clap ur hands twice
& if it looks like this then u're doing it right

the trumpet!
Madonna no. 5!

i do all i do
to fall in love w/a girl like u
u can't run & u can't hide
u & me r gonna touch the sky

Madonna no. 5! 

(see what i did there?) 

Friday, September 19, 2014


How does she do it?



awesome arms 
taught thighs 
perfect posterior 
wicked waistline
becoming biceps 
knock-out knockers 
lean-machine legs 
sweet shoulders 
flawless face & features

THAT'S how she does it.


Thursday, September 18, 2014



follow the above yellow arrows to view pure pop perfection & pop culture history in the making. THIS performance of her hugely, insane, massive global hit "hung up" @ the mtg euro video awards was...well, everything! everyone was waiting for it. she couldn't wait to give it & gave it she did! from the second, no, no, millisecond the lid lifted off that disco ball orb & she opened the show...IT...WAS...ON! you could see it in her eyes, you could tell by her strut, you felt it threw your television screens, she was gonna do this! & she did. simple as that. the explosion that can only be called 1 word (say it with me):

M A D O N N A. 

others will try. none will compare. 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How Stelladonna Got Her Groove Back


Stelladonna is a VERY successful 40-yr-old megastar raising her son, Rocco in Los Angeles, California, who is persuaded by her New York gal-pal Debbie Mazar to take a well deserved, 1st class vacation to Montego Bay, Jamaica. As she soaks in la isla bonita, she encounters a handsome young local, Jesus Luz who is 20 years younger. His pursuits for her turns into a blossoming romance that forces Stelladonna to take personal inventory of her life & try to find a balance between her desire for love & companionship & the responsibilities of motherhood & world domination. 

loosely based on fact. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

purple reign

red + blue = HOT AS BITCH! 

is a range of color hues between red & blue. it is a deep rich shade between crimson & violet. it was the color worn by roman emperors & catholic bishops & since that time has been associated w/both royalty & piety. 
it's rarity in nature & the expense of creating the color has given the color a supernatural aura for centuries. it is also the most powerful wavelength of the rainbow.
the "personality" of purple includes: sensitivity, compassion, thinking of other before yourself, a free spirit & even when deeply hurt...never showing it. 
finally, u r creative & like to be an individual. u love the unconventional. u inspire other w/ur vision. 

i only wanted to see u underneath the purple rain. 

Monday, September 15, 2014



2 pages w/2 different pov's: 1 explains how to get her look (because it's supa-fly) the other wondering if she's "lost her edge" due 2 these recent fashion missteps. people, does it really matter? the only steps they're missing r the ones to & on the dance floor. so, stfu & dance. that's it...just fucking dance.